Forgiveness is Required
Forgiveness isn't optional, it's Required for Healing to take place.
God requires us to forgive (the way He forgives), in order to receive His forgiveness. We should pattern our forgiveness after Jesus' example on the cross, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they've done". Those being forgiven didn't ask for forgiveness, they didn't know they needed forgiveness, and most didn't even care. That's unconditional forgiveness!
It's critical to understand that forgiveness is not for the person that offended or harmed us, it's for us! Our forgiveness toward someone doesn't let them off the hook, they still have to answer to the legal authorities and ultimately to God, but we must let it go.
Our forgiveness can't rely on our emotions, our emotions will lie to us and keep us forgiving. Forgiveness must be done by our will, it's a decision we "choose" to make.
Un-forgiveness leaves open doors that the demonic kingdom will make good use of, and inhibits our own healing.
Judgements
True forgiveness doesn't stop with just forgiving those who have hurt or wronged us, it also means releasing our judgement against them. Holding a judgement against someone means continuing to tell others what they did to you, or believing they can't or won't change. Again, it's not a decision our emotions can easily handle, it's a decision that's best done by our will.
Both forgiving someone, and releasing judgements against someone, doesn't mean you lie down and allow them to continue their assault toward you. In some cases you must remove that individual from the list of people you allow to be part of your life. Someone that has physically, verbally, or sexually assaulted you, and remain unrepentant in their sin, should be avoided. God's healing releases you to get over the hurt, and redirect your life toward God and the path he has planned for you.
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